Hmm. So how do I began this? Well Chris, by me you’ll be dearly missed. I keep waiting to wake up and for my pain to just go away. This is only a dream I just keep telling myself. This is just a dream but my dreams of you is all I have left. Many look at me and I just smile. They see a man strong on the outside, but inside I find myself crying as if I'm just a small child. I see you, I see you when ever I close my eyes. But honestly I don’t want to see. Is that wrong of me. Please don’t be mad that I don’t want to. Can you hear me Chris? I wish that I could be with you. I can’t sleep, I can't sleep; I can’t sleep because constantly keep thinking about you. You being there all alone in the dark, But daddy told me that you held on long enough to tell the person that found you just who you are. We talk that night remember, We talk that night about things you said that you’ll soon do. I can remember most of that conversation, but I can’t remember if I told you that I loved you. I love you, I love you, I’m scared. I'm scared because I don't know my life without you. My life will never be the same without my best friend. And I know that no matter how much time passes; I know my heart will never mend, Can you hear me Chris? I went through this before with grandma and grandpa, but it didn’t hurt like this. I wrote a poem for Wayne ’s wedding a little while back and one of the verses said,“I’m hard to explain with words, but yet with words people try to explain the way I make them feel” I am love. Well I can’t explain it. I can’t explain the love. The love that I have for my big brother. And although people think they do, they don’t know, they won’t know, they can’t know. How I feel, how I deal with the pain that I have in my heart. Because this pain I feels is like no other. Of Losing this Love. Losing a large piece of my heart. Losing my big brother! This is my Last Conversation. Goodbye Chris - MY big BROTHER!